They were very beautiful. What am I saying? They were the most beautiful mother and daughter in our city. People could not take their eyes away from them. Nela would look at me attentively and say, ‘You understand life as if you were adult, but you are only a little girl, like Ela. You see everything, but you say nothing.’ I would look back and say nothing. I understood everything, and she knew that.
We are not young anymore. Nela passed away years ago. Every day Ela opens the closet door and looks at her mother's gloves. She keeps them in a sealed plastic bag. She wants to preserve the smell of her mother on them. She opens the bag after Nela's death anniversary mass. She smells the delicate scent of her mother's hands. Ela does it once a year only. She wants the beloved scent to last longer. She kisses the gloves and presses them to her face. Her tears and the scent of her mother become one. Ela and Nela are together again.
I say nothing.
Salam
Bandar-e-Anzali is a port town on the Caspian Sea. When I was a child my father would tell me stories about the kind and caring people of Pahlevi. For years I could not find on the map the town my father loved so much. Pahlevi became to me some kind of a fairy tale I understood as little as One Thousand and One Nights that my father would read to me as a bedtime story. The story book was beautifully illustrated with full-page Persian miniatures. I loved the miniatures. I loved their colours. I loved their richness. I was never bored with them. Each time I opened the book I would find something new in the picture I had already seen hundreds of times. When I was examining them carefully my father would say, ‘Persians are very kind people. They were very good to me. They were very gentle. They were very polite. They opened their heart to me at the time when I was starved to death. They fed me.’
Bandar-e-Anzali gave shelter to Polish refugees, survivors of Soviet forced labour camps, victims of modern slavery. 118,000 Polish soldiers and 44,000 Polish civilians, women and orphans, landed on the beach of Bandar-e-Anzali in the summer of 1942. 639 Polish refugees who died of starvation will stay there forever in the local Polish graveyard. They died free under the Persian sun.
Atonement
In the morning the men would line up on the street at the entrance
to the refugee camp. Employers would come and hire them for the day. The
pay was fixed, five dollars for a day of hard work. The men would send
the money home to their families. One day's pay was equal to a month's
pay in their country far away.
Mark’s eyes were deep, dark and feverish when he talked to me. He had been offered a job, a single day of work at a nearby nuclear plant. The pay was one-hundred-fifty dollars; the job was disposal of radioactive waste in a quarry.
Mark was twenty-seven then and he had just learned that his girlfriend had taken her life back in his small home town. He decided to take the job as a punishment for having left her.
Mark’s eyes were deep, dark and feverish when he talked to me. He had been offered a job, a single day of work at a nearby nuclear plant. The pay was one-hundred-fifty dollars; the job was disposal of radioactive waste in a quarry.
Mark was twenty-seven then and he had just learned that his girlfriend had taken her life back in his small home town. He decided to take the job as a punishment for having left her.
The Horseshoe
It is three o’clock in the morning and there are very few people at the airport. I am very sleepy and the young border officer who is scanning my luggage is also very sleepy. ‘You have a horseshoe in your suitcase,’ he is looking at me with a spark of curiosity in his eye. ‘Has it brought you good luck?’ How can I tell him what I am looking for? How can I tell him who I am looking for? How can I tell him my story? I am very tired. I am very tired with my hopeless search.
I tell him about the horseshoe I found on top of a pile of garbage in the communal gardens. I scrubbed it clean and I tied a piece of red ribbon on it. When my mother’s friend saw the horseshoe, he examined it very thoroughly. ‘A lame horse was wearing it,' was his verdict.
Lame?
Duda
Sometimes Duda’s mother would get lucky. She would get a piece of
chocolate-covered candy from a customer in the bank she worked at. She
would smile thankfully at the customer thinking about the joy in her
children’s eyes when she would come back home with the candy.
At three-thirty she would stand in the door and say, ‘Children, slice the candy into three pieces, so that all of you can get some.’ Duda’s eyes would cloud over with that stern look of disapproval then. ‘I will slice it into five pieces. There are five of us here. The candy is for mother, father and for ourselves.’
Duda would drag her artificial leg, pick up the sharpest knife in the kichen and slice the candy very thin into five identical pieces as her mother was watching her little girl not to hurt herself should she suddenly have an epileptic seizure. ‘I am blessed with just children,' she laughed.
At three-thirty she would stand in the door and say, ‘Children, slice the candy into three pieces, so that all of you can get some.’ Duda’s eyes would cloud over with that stern look of disapproval then. ‘I will slice it into five pieces. There are five of us here. The candy is for mother, father and for ourselves.’
Duda would drag her artificial leg, pick up the sharpest knife in the kichen and slice the candy very thin into five identical pieces as her mother was watching her little girl not to hurt herself should she suddenly have an epileptic seizure. ‘I am blessed with just children,' she laughed.
A Grain of Rice
I am like a Christmas stocking. I am short, I am skinny, but I have a huge stomach. My stomach starts at my feet and goes up to the head. All my body is stomach.
Last night I went to an eat-what-you-can restaurant. The owner is an Asian man. He has one simple rule: if you do not eat up, you pay a 30-dollar penalty. I ate a lot. The owner came up to my table and congratulated me. I did not have to pay.
I remember what my grandmother used to teach me when I was a little boy: ‘Do not throw away food. To grow a grain of rice is a lot of work.’ When we have leftovers, we offer them to our relatives, neighbours, or to the poor who knock on the back door of our house. People here put food in the garbage. They should work in the fields to grow rice and learn how to respect every grain.
Of Mice and People
‘Did you hear about the people who eat mice? I ate mice.
When I was on the way to the factory for the night shift, I would put mouse traps in the field. When I was coming back home from work in the morning, I would pick up the mice that got caught in the traps while I was working. I would cook the mice for breakfast. They were delicious. They tasted like chicken. I was very happy then.
Mice in the countryside are good for eating. Mice in the city are not good for eating.’
When I was on the way to the factory for the night shift, I would put mouse traps in the field. When I was coming back home from work in the morning, I would pick up the mice that got caught in the traps while I was working. I would cook the mice for breakfast. They were delicious. They tasted like chicken. I was very happy then.
Mice in the countryside are good for eating. Mice in the city are not good for eating.’
Mother
Micka had a dream last night. In her dream she saw her son that went missing 21 years ago. The policeman brought her son home. But her son was handcuffed and was restrained by a ball and chain. The son she had missed so much and prayed for for so many years was dragging the ball. Her boy was in rags. His hair was disheveled and he had no teeth.
Micka’s neighbour, Tom, was with her when her son was brought in. Another man was there, too. The man ran into the apartment to search her son’s room.
Micka woke up covered in cold sweat.
Micka does not know that her daughter found the first trace of her son five days ago. She does not even know about her daughter’s search for her brother. Micka is an old woman and her daughter wants to protect her from the bad news.
Micka reaches for the rosary that her daughter got when she was getting married at an old Vatican church many years ago. The rosary is very precious to Micka. She prays for her children twice a day. Both children are in the Land of Plenty. Micka lives alone. She is very old and very sick. Tom checks on her every day.
Sonny
‘He can sleep on the couch. He sleeps like a dog. But before he sleeps on my couch he will have to take a shower.’
There is no hot water in the house where he lives now and Sonny does not like to take a shower, anyway.
For two months Sonny has been living in a house with no permanent roof on it. The temporary roof can be easily lifted and somebody might enter the house. The owner went for a long vacation to a tropical country. He always stays in his apartment in a big city and does not even live in this house. Sonny is alone there. He watches the house and he takes care of the owner’s cat. The cat jumps into Sonny’s bed at night. Sonny is hugging the cat as they fall asleep together. This way both of them are warmer in wintertime in the house with no permanent roof.
The winter that started earlier than usual this year is very severe. It snows, it is very windy and it is freezing cold. Sonny has an electric heater in his room, but the kitchen and the bathroom that he is allowed to use are very cold. Sonny turns on the gas stove and he turns on the oven to get warm. It is freezing cold and Sonny is an old man.
Sonny lives in the richest city of the Land of Plenty. As he is falling asleep, he sings the cat a song—the song that his father, a lawyer in a Faraway Country, used to sing to Sonny when he was rocking him to sleep.
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be.
There is no hot water in the house where he lives now and Sonny does not like to take a shower, anyway.
For two months Sonny has been living in a house with no permanent roof on it. The temporary roof can be easily lifted and somebody might enter the house. The owner went for a long vacation to a tropical country. He always stays in his apartment in a big city and does not even live in this house. Sonny is alone there. He watches the house and he takes care of the owner’s cat. The cat jumps into Sonny’s bed at night. Sonny is hugging the cat as they fall asleep together. This way both of them are warmer in wintertime in the house with no permanent roof.
The winter that started earlier than usual this year is very severe. It snows, it is very windy and it is freezing cold. Sonny has an electric heater in his room, but the kitchen and the bathroom that he is allowed to use are very cold. Sonny turns on the gas stove and he turns on the oven to get warm. It is freezing cold and Sonny is an old man.
Sonny lives in the richest city of the Land of Plenty. As he is falling asleep, he sings the cat a song—the song that his father, a lawyer in a Faraway Country, used to sing to Sonny when he was rocking him to sleep.
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be.
The Little Goat
Stan was eleven when his father died. Some people believed his father had died in an accident. Some people were convinced he had been killed by those who had borrowed money from him.
Stan’s mother, who had had a good life with her professionally successful husband, suddenly found herself penniless and homeless. Her beloved Stan was not her only child. He had an older brother and an older sister.
The widow was offered a job as a cleaner. She rented a small room in somebody's house and she bought a goat to have a supply of milk for the children. When his mother was at work from dawn till sunset, Stan felt very lonely. It was then when he befriended the goat. He talked to her. He sang songs to her. He fed her. The goat followed him everywhere and she became his father, his mother and his best friend.
Over thirty years later, when Stan had his first child, a tiny little girl, slightly bigger than the palm of his hand, he named her after the goat. Every day he would marvel at the little girl's cheerfulness. She brightened his days. She loved listening to the stories about Stan's little goat. She loved Stan to read her a bedtime story about a goat that became a world traveler.
One day, when she grew up, she bought a pair of red pants, similar to those the goat in the bedtime book wore, and she headed for the world. She never saw Stan again.
Polygamy
At fourteen, Delbar became the second wife of a man whose first wife
could not have children. They lived together in the same house. The
women became best friends.
When two boys were born to Delbar, the first wife became like a mother to them. It was her who would wake up in the middle of the night to hug, kiss and comfort the crying baby.
Ten years later when the husband suddenly died, the two wives became like sisters. They continued living together. No man would marry the young widow whose children were old enough to remember their father because they might cause the new husband trouble.
Delbar had to go work to support the family. The first wife stayed at home to take care of the children. The children adored her. They called her "mother." They never called Delbar "mother."
Delbar is very happy.
When two boys were born to Delbar, the first wife became like a mother to them. It was her who would wake up in the middle of the night to hug, kiss and comfort the crying baby.
Ten years later when the husband suddenly died, the two wives became like sisters. They continued living together. No man would marry the young widow whose children were old enough to remember their father because they might cause the new husband trouble.
Delbar had to go work to support the family. The first wife stayed at home to take care of the children. The children adored her. They called her "mother." They never called Delbar "mother."
Delbar is very happy.
The Taboo
He is a rich land owner. Over one hundred farm labourers work for him and he has over a hundred children by ten wives. When his new baby turns one, he brands the baby with the same hot iron that he uses to brand his goats. When the baby is crying, he makes sure the branding has been done well. He examines the right hand and smiles.
The rich man is a drunk. Every evening he goes to a bar. He meets women there. He always looks at the woman’s right hand and examines it closely as he does not want to have sex with one of his daughters.
A Bird-Fancier
I was a bird-fancier when I was six or seven. I would hunt birds in
two ways. In the summer I would use a sling. In the winter, I would dig a
hole in the ground and put a little basket in it. I would cover the
basket with a thread and put some bread crusts in it.
Like the other children in the village, I did not have any toys. I would put the bird I caught in a little cage that I had made myself. The bird was not happy but I was. I had a toy to play with. After some time, I would free the bird and catch a new one to put it in the cage. I wanted a new toy.
Summer was different. Summer was a time of competition. We had slings and we knew how to use them. I wanted to be respected as I was the youngest, the shortest, and I was a girl. I became the best slinger. I would always win. All my shots hit their mark. I was very proud of myself.
I did not understand the difference between life and death then.
Like the other children in the village, I did not have any toys. I would put the bird I caught in a little cage that I had made myself. The bird was not happy but I was. I had a toy to play with. After some time, I would free the bird and catch a new one to put it in the cage. I wanted a new toy.
Summer was different. Summer was a time of competition. We had slings and we knew how to use them. I wanted to be respected as I was the youngest, the shortest, and I was a girl. I became the best slinger. I would always win. All my shots hit their mark. I was very proud of myself.
I did not understand the difference between life and death then.
Tarantula
The soldiers are laughing heartedly as all young men do. They are
afraid of me. Tarantulas are not their best friends in the sand of the
Sahara Desert. Although so tiny, I am very powerful and the soldiers
know that very well.
Playfully they spill gasoline all around me and set it on fire. I am choking on the smoke of the burning gasoline. The fire feels hotter than midday sunshine. I walk around the circle. I walk around the circle again. I walk around the circle for the third time. There is no way out.
I am the Power. I have always been divine. I have always been a warrior. I turn my weapon against myself.
The soldiers stop laughing. They freeze watching my suicide.
Playfully they spill gasoline all around me and set it on fire. I am choking on the smoke of the burning gasoline. The fire feels hotter than midday sunshine. I walk around the circle. I walk around the circle again. I walk around the circle for the third time. There is no way out.
I am the Power. I have always been divine. I have always been a warrior. I turn my weapon against myself.
The soldiers stop laughing. They freeze watching my suicide.
A Kidney
‘It is a small nation I come from. We used to be part of a big empire. Tyranny was all we knew.
My mother was young when she got sick and needed a kidney transplant. I was a teenager then. I was horrified I would lose her. I developed a plan how I could help her.
I went to the marketplace in a big city and I looked for an idle man who would be willing to sell his kidney. I played with some piglets that a farmer was selling from his horse-drawn cart. A man came and bought them. He put them in a burlap sack and tied it up with a string. The piglets were moving vigorously. I played with them through the fabric of the sack. My hair was blond. My hair was long. My eyes were blue. The man agreed to become a donor but he wanted something more than money. He made me promise that I would marry him after the transplant surgery. I agreed to marry him when my mother feels good enough to dance at our wedding.
My family and the donor went across the border together. Things went well. My mother was feeling well. The donor was also feeling well. Soon he returned to our tiny country. My family headed off for the world.
Many years have passed but the man keeps calling our home from his tiny village of seventy houses. My mother cannot understand why I do not want to talk to the man who saved her life.’
My mother was young when she got sick and needed a kidney transplant. I was a teenager then. I was horrified I would lose her. I developed a plan how I could help her.
I went to the marketplace in a big city and I looked for an idle man who would be willing to sell his kidney. I played with some piglets that a farmer was selling from his horse-drawn cart. A man came and bought them. He put them in a burlap sack and tied it up with a string. The piglets were moving vigorously. I played with them through the fabric of the sack. My hair was blond. My hair was long. My eyes were blue. The man agreed to become a donor but he wanted something more than money. He made me promise that I would marry him after the transplant surgery. I agreed to marry him when my mother feels good enough to dance at our wedding.
My family and the donor went across the border together. Things went well. My mother was feeling well. The donor was also feeling well. Soon he returned to our tiny country. My family headed off for the world.
Many years have passed but the man keeps calling our home from his tiny village of seventy houses. My mother cannot understand why I do not want to talk to the man who saved her life.’
Lee
‘The old times were poor times. That was when I was a child and we
lived in a small village far in the north of the country. Our house was
made of clay and its roof was covered with straw. Our beds were also
made of clay. We had fireplaces under the beds to keep us warm at night.
We used sticks for the fire and they were very precious as the
temperature at night would fall below -20 degrees Celsius. In order not
to freeze we had to keep the fire all night.
There were also four wells in our village. The water was very sweet then. Never have I drunk water as tasty as the water in my village.
Nowadays, the water in my village is not sweet any more. It tastes bitter. Maybe the source is drying up? Maybe the people are getting rich?
Recently, the villagers have built houses that are made of brick and tiles. The villagers have cars and telephones. The rats became very big and the flies are very fat. The people are rich now.’
There were also four wells in our village. The water was very sweet then. Never have I drunk water as tasty as the water in my village.
Nowadays, the water in my village is not sweet any more. It tastes bitter. Maybe the source is drying up? Maybe the people are getting rich?
Recently, the villagers have built houses that are made of brick and tiles. The villagers have cars and telephones. The rats became very big and the flies are very fat. The people are rich now.’
Aththan
‘I was a Tiger. Why I joined the insurgents? Are you sure you want
to know that? Did you see a human brain? I did. My next door neighbour
was wounded in a military raid on our village. The top of his head got
blown off. I could see his brain. I took off my shirt and I covered his
brain with it. What happened to my neighbour? He died.
One day another man in our village was shot by government soldiers. He was wounded in the abdomen. His intestines were coming out. I was trying to put them back into his belly but I could not. That man also died.
I was very young then. I wanted to protect my people so I joined the Tigers. Although I was with them for three years, I did not kill any soldiers as at that time they did not attack our land. If they had attacked us, I would have killed many of them. I know how to use fifteen kinds of weapons.’
Aththan is drawing an accurate picture of a hand gun and instructs two other young men how to use it. One of the men shows me a photograph on the front page of a newspaper. I do not recognize what is in the picture. ‘Opium,’ he says. He knows its price.
One day another man in our village was shot by government soldiers. He was wounded in the abdomen. His intestines were coming out. I was trying to put them back into his belly but I could not. That man also died.
I was very young then. I wanted to protect my people so I joined the Tigers. Although I was with them for three years, I did not kill any soldiers as at that time they did not attack our land. If they had attacked us, I would have killed many of them. I know how to use fifteen kinds of weapons.’
Aththan is drawing an accurate picture of a hand gun and instructs two other young men how to use it. One of the men shows me a photograph on the front page of a newspaper. I do not recognize what is in the picture. ‘Opium,’ he says. He knows its price.
The Song
The boys get up very early in the morning. The weather is beautiful.
The birds are singing. The boys are hungry. It is the time of famine.
There is no rice to eat. The boys are best friends. They have no
brothers and they have no sisters, but they have each other. For a long
time there has been nothing to eat in the village of one hundred houses.
The village is located in a green valley in the mountains. People are
very poor there.
The boys head for the mountain. Today is the day. The sky is so clear. They climb the mountain as they did so many times before. The stones are hurting their feet. They want to see the island. They want to see the island of plenty. The island, where there is a lot of food to eat and toys to play with. Both boys are dreamers. They want to cross the ocean and live on the island. They are very bright and very strong.
One day the younger one leaves the village and heads for the island. A year passes and the older one follows him.
The sky is clear. The air is crisp. The birds are singing.
The boys head for the mountain. Today is the day. The sky is so clear. They climb the mountain as they did so many times before. The stones are hurting their feet. They want to see the island. They want to see the island of plenty. The island, where there is a lot of food to eat and toys to play with. Both boys are dreamers. They want to cross the ocean and live on the island. They are very bright and very strong.
One day the younger one leaves the village and heads for the island. A year passes and the older one follows him.
The sky is clear. The air is crisp. The birds are singing.
Abdul
‘Our people are good people. Our people are very innocent. Our people are trusting.
During the jihad, some Arabs came to our country to fight the Russians. We were very grateful to them and we treated them like our brothers.
One day two Arabs came to our village and asked for the permission to marry our two girls. They presented themselves as good Muslims promising to take their teenaged wives with them to their home countries. We had faith in them so we gave them our girls. They married them and we all danced at their wedding.
After a few months they left our village for their country abandoning their young wives pregnant and penniless.
A year later another Arab came to our village. He went to another family asking for the permission to marry their daughter. He was asked to wait for the decision when the father of the family went to see the chief of the village. The chief invited the Arab to his home and asked him if it was true that he wanted to marry the girl from their village. The man said it was. At that moment the chief had the man tied up. His tongue was pulled out and cut off. The man was hanged by his legs with his head down. His tongue was dangling on a string next to him so that he could look at it.’
Abdul is laughing at the love story he has just told. Today it is Valentine’s Day.
During the jihad, some Arabs came to our country to fight the Russians. We were very grateful to them and we treated them like our brothers.
One day two Arabs came to our village and asked for the permission to marry our two girls. They presented themselves as good Muslims promising to take their teenaged wives with them to their home countries. We had faith in them so we gave them our girls. They married them and we all danced at their wedding.
After a few months they left our village for their country abandoning their young wives pregnant and penniless.
A year later another Arab came to our village. He went to another family asking for the permission to marry their daughter. He was asked to wait for the decision when the father of the family went to see the chief of the village. The chief invited the Arab to his home and asked him if it was true that he wanted to marry the girl from their village. The man said it was. At that moment the chief had the man tied up. His tongue was pulled out and cut off. The man was hanged by his legs with his head down. His tongue was dangling on a string next to him so that he could look at it.’
Abdul is laughing at the love story he has just told. Today it is Valentine’s Day.
The Black Sheep
Fatima’s hair is black. Her eyes are sparkling with joy. She is
seven and she is already a little shepherdess. In her village everybody
has to work. Little children have an important job to do as well.
Fatima’s job is very important. She tends to twenty sheep. They are
beautiful. Some of them are white, some are grayish white, and two of
them are pinch black. The black sheep are twins. They are the little
lambs that the shepherdess likes most. She likes playing with them. She
is a child and they are children. They keep her company all the time.
The tiny little girl loves the blue sky, the wind and the green grass.
Suddenly, one of the black lambs runs towards the river. She jumps into it and starts swimming. The little black lamb enjoys swimming very much. She has just found her new freedom and the water is carrying her. The little black lamb is further and further away. Finally, she lands safely on the other bank of the river.
Her twin sister looks scared. She does not know what to do. She is very frightened and confused. She wants to be with her sister. She loves her. They have been inseparable since they were born. They have never been apart but the river is wide and the water is deep. The little black lamb jumps into the water. She finds out that she can swim like her twin sister. She enjoys swimming as her sister did, and she continues swimming. The current takes her safely to the other bank of the river, to her sister. The two black sheep are united.
Fatima, the little shepherdess, can see only two little black heads in the high grass. The heads are very close to each other.
The farmers will have to walk five kilometers to the nearest bridge to bring the lost sheep back. They will not dare to jump into the river. The current has taken many lives in the village.
Suddenly, one of the black lambs runs towards the river. She jumps into it and starts swimming. The little black lamb enjoys swimming very much. She has just found her new freedom and the water is carrying her. The little black lamb is further and further away. Finally, she lands safely on the other bank of the river.
Her twin sister looks scared. She does not know what to do. She is very frightened and confused. She wants to be with her sister. She loves her. They have been inseparable since they were born. They have never been apart but the river is wide and the water is deep. The little black lamb jumps into the water. She finds out that she can swim like her twin sister. She enjoys swimming as her sister did, and she continues swimming. The current takes her safely to the other bank of the river, to her sister. The two black sheep are united.
Fatima, the little shepherdess, can see only two little black heads in the high grass. The heads are very close to each other.
The farmers will have to walk five kilometers to the nearest bridge to bring the lost sheep back. They will not dare to jump into the river. The current has taken many lives in the village.
Tobias
'I am Tobias. I come straight from the pages of the Bible. I am not afraid of dying. The last time I was afraid was when I was in a cave in the Sahara desert. The human smuggler noticed the light of a cell phone in the hand of one of us. We were fifteen men hoping to cross the border. Although we had already paid our fee, the smuggler wanted the phone. The owner hid it. As a punishment, we were abandoned in the cave. We had no water. We had no food. We fought over an unwashed plate; the winner got to lick it clean. We wrote love messages to our families on the wall of the cave. We wanted our loved ones to know we were thinking about them when we were dying. The smuggler came back after three days. Later, in Israel, I was very happy when I worked sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. I felt God was with me.'
Tobias crosses himself with his left hand three times.
Tobias crosses himself with his left hand three times.
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